I quit gluten and dairy for 30 days — here’s what happened (the dark side)
For three years in a row, I quit gluten, dairy, sugar, soy, caffeine and alcohol for the month of January. I was so committed, that I “cleansed” three times a year.
The cleanse involved eliminating various food groups, drinking a protein smoothie for breakfast, eating a light lunch and dinner, and taking supplements. You were also given a recipe plan, a shopping list and were expected to cook all your meals from scratch.
To prepare, I would throw away the “not allowed” food, and stock my kitchen with the “allowed” ingredients for the meals.
If you’d asked me at the time, I would have told you that the 30 day cleanse was incredible. How I felt so much better, how I was less bloated and also that I’d lost a little bit of weight (but I’d always follow that up by saying I wasn’t doing it to lose weight).
However, as the years went by, I began to question whether this cleanse was a good idea given my eating disorder history. Especially because I could see several eating disorder thoughts and behaviours creeping in.
I also wondered whether my constant fatigue and need for a pick-me-up in the afternoon was because I wasn’t eating enough.
I gave up cleansing three years ago and this is my story of what happened after 30 days (and 10 of these cleanses)... It’s perhaps the dark side, when healthy eating is taken too far.
#1 Last supper effect
Just thinking about going on a diet or cleanse can trigger what’s called last supper effect – it’s basically overeating in anticipation of the restriction. When it’s your last chance to eat delicious food for a month you gorge on food you know will be off limits.
Well, I experienced the last supper effect more and more with each subsequent cleanse - with an insatiable appetite for chocolate.
#2 Cravings and bingeing
Over time the cravings and bingeing became worse, although I would try and limit the bingeing during the cleanses to so-called healthy foods. For example, one of the recipes on the 30 day challenge was sweet potato brownies. They were OK, but nothing like a real brownie.
When I baked the sweet potato version, I’d find myself eating way past the point of fullness. I now realise that I was craving some good old chocolate, but since I was never satisfied eating the sweet potato brownies, I kept on eating.
Healthified versions of everything just didn’t hit that sweet spot!
#3 Following very rigid rules was stressful
It’s stressful following rigid rules. Of course I completely understand that some people must restrict certain foods for allergies or medical reasons. But here I was restricting a ton of foods with no medical reason to do so.
And I found it stressful. I was constantly worrying over food labels, forcing myself to cook from scratch even when exhausted and I was anxious about every bite that went in my mouth.
When my family enjoyed waffles on the weekends, I would choke down protein pancakes. They were OK, but definitely not as delicious as a waffle!
#4 Took the joy out of eating
Eating is about more than just getting nutrients into your body. There’s a certain joy in sharing a meal around the table, hanging out with kids. Going out for meals, cooking for others.
There’s joy in eating real brownies and savouring every mouthful. There’s joy in sharing waffles with your kids. There’s joy in saying YES when your daughter offers you a sweet or a bite of her pancake. There’s joy in sharing a meal out with a partner and having a cocktail together.
There’s joy in just saying YES to a dinner invite (rather than having to send a long list of not allowed foods) and there’s joy in deciding what you want to eat based on your internal cues of hunger and fullness rather than sticking to a rigid eating plan.
#5 Made me unnecessarily scared of food
These 10 cleanses made me unnecessarily scared of certain foods. It took many months to feel comfortable eating a sandwich or having normal pancakes. My opinion: these kinds of plans create too much fear mongering around food
#6 Created a disordered relationship with food
And finally, 10 cleanses fuelled my experience with orthorexia. It took a lot of unlearning to heal from this level of disordered eating. In hindsight I can see that it was “healthy” eating taken too far – the dark side.
I will never go back to being so rigid about food.
I will admit to enjoying a couple of aspects of these cleanses. I enjoyed exploring new recipes. I also discovered that I like vegan cheese - really like it! So, I’ve stuck to vegan cheese.
I also enjoyed the protein smoothies and have continued having a fruit-and-vegetable-packed protein smoothie for week day breakfasts (waffles and French Toast on the weekends). I discovered coconut and oat milk and found that I prefer these to cow’s milk.
And that’s about it. Mostly I realised that life’s too short to be obsessed about reading labels, for cooking joyless brownies and forgetting about the joy in the eating experience. Discovering food freedom really did change my life and relationship with food.